Thoughts of an Introvert (v. 1)

For being an introvert, I seem to know a lot of extroverted people.  At least, they seem to be extroverts.  They could just be introverts who are really good at making themselves seem more outgoing.  I’d like to know how they do it, because I’m probably the most introverted person I know… and people know it right away.

But I thought it’d be fun to take a look into the mind of an introvert (but it might just be me…).

introvert thoughts 1

1.  Oh no, I’m going to have to sit in the middle of this crowd of people.  I wanted a corner seat.  Whether it’s a bookstore or a local Panera, my eyes immediately search for an open seat that isn’t surrounded by people.  If I’m in the corner or on the edge of the crowd, I’m safe.  If I have to sit in the middle of a dining area I feel like everyone is watching me and judging me – how I eat, how I’m sitting, etc.

2.  Well, that conversation did not go like I planned in my head.  If I’m not comfortable around someone, I can get awkward during conversations… especially when there’s nothing left to say.  I might tend to babble and stumble over my words, then I have to make some kind of joke out of why my mouth is spazzing out.  This is the reason I’m better at writing papers than public speaking.

hagrid shouldnt have said that

3.  I made these plans, but I really don’t want to go.  But I made a commitment, UGH!  I’m not like this with everyone… it really depends on what I committed to.  If it’s a party or group gathering where I don’t know a lot of people, I’m more likely to back out… or think about it anyway.  However, if it’s just a few of my close friends, I’m usually okay for however long we hang out.  Then I go home and pass out from exhaustion.

4.  Public speaking projects were the worst thing a teacher could assign me in school.  All the way up through my final college course… I hated having to present a project in front of the class.  Even if it was a group project.  I’m honestly surprised I never passed out because I would shake so much while standing up there.  And I had the hardest time making eye contact with my classmates if none of my friends were in that class.  If anything, I just talked to the teacher or the back wall.

5.  I really want to hang out with someone, but it’s my only day to myself this week.  What am I going to do?!  I know I should spend as much time as I can with my friends and family, but sometimes when I only end up with one day to my self the entire week I’m a little hesitant about going… even if I want to.  It’s nothing against my friends/family, I just need that alone time if it’s been an unusually busy week.

dinner with me the grinch

6.  Why hasn’t this person texted me?  I mean, I would message them first, but I don’t want to bug them.  I’m always afraid to text someone first, even my close friends, because I feel like I might be bugging them.  Is it irrational?  Yes.  But that doesn’t stop me from thinking that I might be a pest to someone if I’m always the person who texts them first.

7.  Wait, what did I just miss?  Crap, I hope it wasn’t important.  Just smile and nod.  I’m always losing myself in my thoughts… always.  Sometimes I can’t control it… my mind just wanders off.  You know when people say that a person is present in the room, but not in the head?  Yeah, that’s me, but for a different reason than you’d think.

8.  It’s just a phone call, you can do this…. Well, that couldn’t have been any more awkward.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I spend too much time before making a phone call freaking out and rehearsing what I’ll say.  Most of the time I do okay, but there’s those few times I mess up and am hard on myself after I hang up.

mcgonnagall telephone

9.  Oh good, my friend knows this person and I don’t.  I’ll just stand here and phase out of the world slowly.  I’m the worst when I’m hanging out with a friend and we run into someone they know.  Sure, they’ll introduce me and all, but once they start talking I kind of disappear.  I never know if I should actually pay attention to their conversation or not.  Sometimes I feel like it’s eavesdropping, even though they know I’m right there.  On the rare occasion I can throw myself into the conversation, but I think that’s only happened twice in my life.

10.  YES!  The plans were cancelled!  I mean, I feel bad it’s raining out, but  I can stay home and don’t have to put regular pants on!  I’m so guilty of being happy when plans I’ve been dreading are cancelled.  Who isn’t though?  Even if it wasn’t a huge event, if I decided I didn’t feel like going (but I was going to anyway) it’s the biggest relief to not have to go anymore.

11.  I’m only getting married to someone who can understand that I just want to sit there and read, but with him reading next to me.  Can I be honest?  This gif from Up pretty much summarizes what I’m looking for in my future husband.

up reading

And those, ladies and gents, are real thoughts that go through my mind.  If you’re an introvert, I’m sure you can agree.  If not, you probably know someone like this.

Are you an introvert or extrovert?  Or a mix of both?

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Left Behind [book review]

Imagine you’re talking to a friend right next to you, and they suddenly disappear.  The only indication that there was a live person next to you is the pile of clothes that sits where they were just standing.  And it wasn’t just your friend who was taken, millions of people around the world have suddenly just disappeared.

This is what the Rapture will be like.

And two authors have published a fictional account of what the events in the book of Revelation might be like for those left behind.

left behind review

Synopsis from Publisher:

Millions missing, feared dead. Fiery collisions claim thousands as pilots, drivers vanish. Romanian leader Carpathia to speak at U.N.

Panic surges through a Heathrow-bound Boeing 747 as some passengers and crew vanish, along with millions worldwide. Captain Rayford Steele fights to quell hysteria while facing personal tragedy―his wife and son are among the missing. Rumors fly, and fanatics warn about the end of the world. Could they be right? Meanwhile, crack journalist Cameron “Buck” Williams, on the trail of a global financial conspiracy, finds a more ominous story unfolding as storm clouds of good and evil gather.

If that doesn’t sound interesting, then… I don’t know about you.

Going into the series knowing that this is a fictional account of the Rapture, based on facts in the Bible, really made me think a lot while reading.  It actually scared me a bit to think that the things that the characters are going through in this book is what will happen to the people left behind when Jesus does call us home.

I know I have my salvation through Him, so it’s not that I’m scared of going through the events personally, but rather it scares me that people I know might go through this.  I don’t want them to.  Even if the events of the tribulation period brought them to Jesus, like some characters in the book, I still hate thinking of them going through it.  I’d rather have them become saved before the Rapture and avoid all the mess that will befall the earth.

That said, I don’t want to turn away non-Christians from reading this series (or at least the first book).  Whether you believe the Rapture will happen or not, this is still a good read.  It’s interesting to see how people might react when millions suddenly disappear.

I really want to thank my mom for telling me I should definitely read this book.  I can’t wait to read the others!

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The Bridge [book review]

If you need a tear-jerking, heartwarming story on your to-be-read list, do I have a book for you.

the bridge

In this novel we follow the connected story of four characters – Molly Allen, Ryan Kelly and Charlie & Donna Barton.  Charlie and Donna own and run a bookstore called The Bridge, where Molly and Ryan spent a lot of their free time at during their first two years of college.  They were inseparable, to the point where Charlie and Donna were convinced they’d be married someday.

But then Molly left.

Ryan never knew why.

Now it’s years later.  Molly is running a successful branch of her father’s business, Ryan has toured the country as the lead guitarist of a famous country singer, and Charlie and Donna are trying to keep The Bridge alive after a flood completely wipes out the inside of their store.

The story of Molly and Ryan was one that is going to stay on my heart for some time.  Call me a sucker, but I love a good story of two long-lost soul mates reuniting after a number of years have passed.  I also enjoyed reading from the perspectives of Charlie and Donna and learning about their backgrounds and connection to Molly and Ryan.  Like me, they were rooting for the two to get together when they were in college.

This was my first ever Karen Kingsbury book that I’ve read.  My mom had told me she’s a great Christian-fiction writer and I can see why.  This book brought tears to my eyes a number of times and at the same time warmed my heart.  It was refreshing to read a book that focuses on the faith of the characters and their relationship with God as well as each other.  I’m actually currently reading another book of hers and I can tell you I will continue to read more books by her.  She’s definitely becoming one of my favorite authors.

One last note is that I fell in love with the bookstore their story revolves around, to the point that it makes me wish there was a small, homey bookstore just like The Bridge in my town.  I guess I’ll just have to settle for opening one with my mom someday.

Anyway, I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a heartwarming story.

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Meet Bill

Ladies and gents, I’d like to introduce you to Bill.

My car.

meet bill

I know what you’re thinking, ‘Cars are supposed to be named as girls,’ and I thought that too until my mom pointed out to me that it was men who said that’s how you name a car.  So, forget that.  My car is Bill.

And I think the reason is pretty obvious.

headrests

steering wheel

I also like to refer to my car as the Bills-mobile.  I just need a few more Bills related items to go inside or outside the car, and I’ll be all set.  I’m not sure exactly what I’ll get, maybe a Bills blanket or air freshener (if they make them), but I will certainly get something to really establish that this is the Bills-mobile.

me and car

I love Bill – not in a crazy way, but in an appreciative way.  It’s nice to be able to go out and run errands at any time of the day and even drive myself to work.  No more bus rides for this girl!  It’s also a nice thing to not have to worry about my mom not having a car if I’m using it, or vice versa.  Not to mention I can leave my music hooked up at all times instead of forgetting it every other time I go for a drive.

Have you named your car?  Did you stick to the tradition of naming it after a girl?

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Birthday Haul 2016

So it’s been just over a week since my birthday, and I honestly meant to get around to this post earlier… I just didn’t.

birthday haul2

The day was well spent.  My mom and I went out of town early that morning to eat at IHOP, and the food was great.  I really enjoy the blueberry pancakes and the amount of blueberries on/in them.  From there we spent a few hours at Barnes and Noble before spending another five at the mall, where we also had dinner at Olive Garden (since I was able to get a free dessert).

I was very spoiled by my parents this year.  First of all, they helped me get my own car.  There’s no way I would’ve gotten it without them… I would’ve had to wait another year or so.  So I’m very grateful that they did that for me.  That would’ve been enough honestly, but I still ended up getting a bit more.

I had every intention of spending my own money at the bookstore and mall, and I did spend some, but there are times when mom says she’s buying it because it’s your birthday.  I think the one thing she didn’t actually buy me was my new iPhone 6s, since they have that new thing where you pay for the phone monthly with the plan, but she did add me on to her plan.  Then by trading in my old iPhone I got a $100 credit to Verizon and got a car charger and a pair of LG Wireless headphones.

The headphones are pretty awesome, by the way.

So birthday number twenty-five was a good one.  The best part was just spending time with my dad two days before (and getting my butt whooped in bowling by him), spending my actual birthday with my mom, and seeing my best friend the next day.  Whether or not I got stuff was irrelevant.  I just like spending time with the people I care about.

Since I did get stuff though, I’ll let you in on my birthday haul.

  • 2014 Nissan Sentra
  • $20 gas card
  • Ice cream cake
  • Spaulding Basketball and an air pump
  • Left Behind by Tim LaHaye
  • White NIV Thinline Bible
  • Barnsie stuffed teddy bear
  • New sneakers (I was overdue for a new pair)
  • Rose Gold iPhone 6s
  • LG Wireless Headphones
  • $15 Starbucks card
  • Food at IHOP and Olive Garden

IMG_2900

And I’d say that’s a good birthday haul.  Definitely more than I expected or needed.

Again, I’m very grateful for everything my parents did for me this year.  However, I already told my mom that we should float my next few birthdays, at least until I’m 30.  Even then, I’d rather just go out for a nice dinner with my loved ones or do something for the day (that isn’t shopping).

As long as there’s cake, I don’t care what we do.

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25.

25 birthday cake

Today marks the completion of my 25th year of life on this planet.  As of now my mom can tell people that I’m 25 years old and actually be correct.  Does anyone else’s parents do that?  Tell someone that you’re a certain age before your actual birthday arrives?  Is that a parent thing?

I’m getting off track.

I’m TWENTY-FIVE!

Halfway to fifty.  The ‘Silver Birthday.’

How weird is that?

Well, you don’t know me, so it’s not weird for you.  But then again, maybe you’re going through the exact same thing.  You’re a certain age, but you just sit there thinking, ‘how the heck did I get to be this age?’  I mean, really… I feel like I just graduated high school.

Of course, it helps that most people think I’m at least 17-18 years old.  It’s definitely a blessing.

I guess maybe I just don’t feel like I’m twenty-five, most of the time.  Lord knows I don’t always act it (depending on who I’m with).  I can’t really explain why I don’t feel my age… I just don’t.

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck.  Like I should’ve accomplished something huge by this point in my life… but what?  Should I be married already?  Or have a kid?  In high school I honestly thought I’d have a young-adult best seller written by this point.  Well… that didn’t happen.  I’m not even sure if I still want that.

No.  I don’t.

Then I get upset with myself for thinking down about myself because I haven’t ‘done’ anything yet.  I mean, hello!  I graduated college!  That’s something.  Sure, I might not be in a full-time job within my field of choice yet, but things don’t always happen overnight.

I guess it’s just important to remember that there’s no required accomplishments for certain ages because not everyone has the same path in life.  My path isn’t going to be the same as someone I graduated high school with.  So it doesn’t matter how many of them are starting families now… it doesn’t mean I’m not doing life right.  My life is just different than theirs.  I’m not meant to have a family yet, and that’s okay with me.

Alright… so this post took a hard left.  I did not mean for it to get this deep.

And to think I was just going to write a 25 Random Thoughts post.  What was I thinking?

So yes, I’m twenty-five and still figuring out my life… but aren’t most of us?

And I just want to say a Happy Birthday to all my fellow May 3rd babies around the world!

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