I’m just going to admit this… I was a mess this morning. An emotional, worrying, crying mess.
Because of the immediate future.
The lease is about to be up on our place, and my mom and I are considering moving. We found a place we want in a new town and we sent in the application. The thing is, without going into detail, the only way we can get this place is through God and if it’s in His will for us to move there.
Why was I a mess? Scared of the outcome, I suppose. I was attacked by numerous thoughts of doubt for both ends – on whether we get the place or have to stay where we are. I’m ashamed not only because of my doubt, but because yesterday I was so full of faith and there was no reason for me to pull a complete 180.
It’s amazing how quickly God can speak to you when you crack open your Bible for your morning reading and suddenly you realize all that worrying was for nothing.
I’m currently reading Romans and instead of stopping where I planned after chapter 7, I continued on to chapter 8 and read a verse that I know, but constantly forget where it is:
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28 (NLT)
For some reason this verse made me think of another one I know well, but it hasn’t been in the front of my mind as of late (you know, until today):
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
After reading both of these verses this morning, I felt the relief and comfort wash over me. I know that God isn’t going to let us get this apartment if it isn’t the right move. My mom and I have both prayed that we want whatever God’s will is for us when it comes to this decision. While we might not have gotten an answer about whether we should’ve applied or not, I came to the conclusion that applying is the step we needed to take to see if God will open this door for us or keep it closed.
“Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright”
(What Faith Can Do – Kutless)
Was I still scared to bring the application in? A little, maybe. But before I even left the house to drop off the application I was restored in faith knowing that God has control of the outcome, and that only His plans for us are going to unfold.
“…yet not my will, but yours be done.” – Luke 22:42 (NIV)