Paralyzing Fear

Sometimes you don’t even realize a fear until you have to face it head on.

As you all know, I’ve announced that I’ve been writing a book.  Telling everyone was just a little fear that I had to overcome.  After all, a lot of people know that I enjoy writing and creating stories, but none other than a select few have ever read my original work.  By select few, I mean my best friend.  Other than that, I’ve written fanfiction under a username I don’t use for social media.  As far as the fanfiction goes, only my best friend and a few close personal (and online) friends of the same fandom have read those.

Sharing those pieces of work was a piece of cake.

Sending the first draft of my book to a few people (including my mom) for editing… terrifying.  So terrifying, in fact, that I considered not doing it and just keeping the book for myself, my writing pal/partner-in-crime, and my best friend.

But what good would that be?

So it was with incredible anxiety that I have given a copy of my book draft to my select editors – two of my coworkers and my mom.  I trust all three of them to find the mistakes that I’ve missed and let me know if something doesn’t sound right or if the story doesn’t flow well.  I think that’s what I’m the most scared of – that my story will not flow well or not make any sense.

I mean, it makes sense to me, but I know everything about the characters and their backgrounds.  They’re my babies.  As is this story.

Now all I can do is wait.  And worry.

But I think for now I’ll design some book covers to keep myself busy.

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